I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
