there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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