I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize