OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
