Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
