I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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