Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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