11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
