I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
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