He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
