kristin has been a bad kristin
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
