Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You pole danced in your parka.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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