That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
