I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Someone signed my nipple.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
