apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
