he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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