oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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