i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
