Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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