OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Someone shattered a urinal.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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