why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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