If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
A+ Viking dick
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
