i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
