That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize