some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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