thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
