I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize