I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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