i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
