I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Randomize
