All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
