I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
