i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
