Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
