There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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