My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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