Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
