So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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