we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
