What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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