I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
