I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
