I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
