Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
