I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
