i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
