youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize