Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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