I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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