Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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