So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
