Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
