Its about making memories worth repressing
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
