we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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