As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize