I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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