jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
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