I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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