I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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