how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
